You know in life most of us walk around competing against our fellow neighbour. This dates back to the beginning of history really. Men went to work, women stayed home and took care of kids. Women weren’t even permitted in the work force. Now, you have women that are entering back into the workforce or working from home and the natural instinct based on learned behaviours is to conquer and compete. Today I am going to talk primarily around women. Women are always trying to look better, be better, be superior to her fellow ladies out there. How do you show up when around other women? This can also go for guys too. They are constantly competing, the bigger houses, the nicer cars, the fancier clothes, the more toys they buy etc. Women it is mostly based on the looks. We are being bombarded these days with tv ads, magazine covers, films and all over billboards what beauty is and means. The message it conveys is that we are not good enough. We must buy that hair color or that deodorant or the nicer blouse or the cooler jeans…in order to look good. What is beauty? It’s time we start seeing others as love and only love. It’s time we open our eyes to seeing the good in others, seeing the beauty in others and really appreciating it. Do you know how much a woman loves being told how beautiful she is? Often times, we look in the mirror and so easily start picking what we see apart. We walk out the front door to go take on the day and we’ve already told ourselves we aren’t good enough, we’re ugly, we’re full of imperfections. We then go on with our day encountering many men and women on a regular basis. Instantly, when we see a woman that has a beautiful smile, nice personality , gorgeous hair, that thin body, our defense goes up. We now see her as a competitor against us. Why should this seperation exist when we are all the same underneath it all? Can you start creating more cooperation and authentic connection instead of this competition? Be the creator instead of the reactor. I did this just last night. I was out dancing and glanced over and saw this girl. Beautiful long dark locks, striking smile, very nice dress and red, luscious lips. I looked at her and tapped her on the shoulder and I said you know I just want to tell you that you are absilutely gorgeous. Her mouth dropped. She was shocked. Since when does a girl recognize, appreciate and express her beauty to another woman? Slim to never. She was in awe and thanked me graciously. i said no problem. We are not out to defend each other, we are out to create friends. Lift people up instead of cut them down. Few hours later, an interesting incident occured. I had a woman shove me on the dance floor and told me to get out of her way. I stopped, and was in such disbelief that this just happened. I looked at her and asked if she had a problem. She didn’t like me standing there because her boyfriend continued eyeing me up. This was a perfect example of the defense mechanism people have up when they see another as a threat. In which case I wasn’t at all. I was simply there to have a good time. I exchanged a few words with her, and completely diffused the situation. Guys and gals it’s time we start creating these extraordinary situations to start spreading the love instead of deflecting it. Appreciate another’s beauty and work with them not against them.
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
So I just returned home from a really incredible weekend away in beautiful Canmore. This is where my friend and I hosted the Beautiful You; Goddess Retreat. This was the first retreat we hosted together. I must say I have learnt so many new things. The biggest thing that stands out for me is connection, compassion and collective. We, as females share many different stories, pasts, upbringings and experience. In all of these though, we all share the same ideals, beliefs, thoughts, emotions. I believe it to be very similar to an artist work piece. Behind every picture painted lies a passion, a story, it invokes emotion and most of all it is beautiful. All of us come from different things but we peel away our masks and shed our skin and we really are all the same underneath it all. I truly believe the more we connect on a contunal basis with those around us and create conversations and a safe place to do so it liberates and frees us as individuals. There is something to be said when you are listening and just simply being in that moment. You don’t allow any thoughts or judgements to get in, you are just simply being. We look at this world around us and there is constant fear and constant competition to be better, have more and then we’ll be happy. What are we all searching for? We all have what it takes within us. It is in our struggles and our pain that provide the biggest learnings and opportunities for growth. This retreat has shown me many opportunities in which I can grow and be better. It has shown me that the way I am is totally fine. I don’t need to try and be like someone else, I should be content with who I am and what I bring to the table. I realized that when I really connect with others, we all share similar emotions, pains and struggles. It is what we are doing with these. Are we continually living in our stories or are we choosing to re-create that new life instead of staying stuck in the past. Where are my judgements and what are they? What we see in others usually is a reflection of what lies within. The way I perceive something is my perspective. This doesnt mean its right or wrong, it just means it is mine. My way doesn’t always have to be the right way. I must simply listen and offer suggestions. I must get better at listening and fully being present. I also realized that what I do I must believe in and value myself in order to influence others. I love what I do and this retreat has shown me how much I love talking about real things, real emotions and how to be the catalyst for people’s transformations. This is the life I am meant to live. SO the next question for me and for you is “What is your next step?” This question is followed by “What is holding you back?” See the beauty that lies within yourselves because you are beautiful in your own special way.
What is Courage? How is contemplation working for you in life? I believe courage is having the fear and doing it anyways. Courage is stepping out of your comfort zone. Courage is doing something that really scares or frightens you, and for some this could be something as much as just talking to a stranger. Everybody had different comfort levels and zones they are accustomed to. Everybody is at different stages in their lives. No one person is the same, but we are underneath it all. When we do something that scares or frightens us atleast a cfew times a week, we start breaking through these made up fears that we allowed into our mind. We start building up our confidence, we start really shining our light. The world around us starts to appear different. Courage has so much to do with self leadership and personal development. Courage gives you that self control, it allows you to truly realize what your life is all about and should be about.
A lot of times in life, it is that point of decision or contemplation that really freaks us out. Why you ask? Well let’s think about it for a second. When you are about to make a decision, which is much like jumping off a cliff what goes through your mind? What do you feel? How do you feel? Do you get butterflies in your stomach? Do you get anxious? Or do you feel calm, cool and content? What is really going on in you is that typically your ego takes over. Your ego’s job, or your mind for reference, is to take care of you and protect you. So what it will do is take you out of the game, or for lack of better terms, the decision that you are about to make. In this point of decision, the Universe will not deliver to you anything until you take that jump, that leap of faith and make that decision. Your job is to control your mind or ego and just make the darn decision. When you make that decision, as Law of Attraction states what you put out will come back. Therefore, if this is true, you make your decision and you notice how your body feels, and trust me the Universe will start working it’s magic and start creating for you. Start doing this for yourself. Even if it is baby steps at first. A couple times a week make the conscious effort to REALLY step out of that comfort zone you have been accustomed to living your entire life. Start doing small things that really put you on that edge, the point of decision or contemplation. Take notice of what it does for your confidence, willingness and more importantly your self control. I can guarantee if you start implementing these small things in your life now, you will be able to feel and take on any circumstance that comes your way—-good or bad. A lot of times when we don’t act with courage we are not truly standing up for what we believe or we’re playing the game of life too small. And guess what, we were all created to play BIG in this game called Life. What do you have to lose? Jump on it!
As I sit here this Sunday night with a nice Malbec I am committing to you all that I will write atleast 3 posts per week moving forward. I first want to apologize for my lack of writing. Tonight’s topic is TRUTH. What is truth? Where does truth come from? How is it formed? What experiences have formed your truth? Are you true to yourself? To others?
Truth is usually what sets us free. Over the last few weeks I have experienced some very powerful breakthroughs. I must say that conversations amongst people are so incredibly powerful. We have a natural tendancy to always compare our stories or our own expereinces with those of others around us. What tends to happen is that we discount ourselves, or stories or experiences. We get into this pit of insignificance. We think that what we have been through may not be as bad as that person. *NEWSFLASH* It doesn’t matter how, who, what or where your circumstances have occured. Everyone has different expereinces but what I’ve learnt is that we all have the same feelings. Fear, doubt, happy, sad, afraid, secluded, alone, not good enough, and the list goes on. What we fail to realize is that you take all of these things away and we are all the same people underneath. We all have a heart, arms, nose, legs, breath, etc. We may appear different, have different experiences but in the end we all expereince the same feelings, thoughts and stories. Truth to me is being real, raw, authentic and uncut. It is having a knowing or awareness if you will. It is accepting responsibility for what has happened in your life.
The problem in our lives is that we have something that happens to us and then we create a story about what happened. From here, we choose to live in this story. “My family is full of alcoholics. My brother comitted suicide. I have a dysfunctional family. I was raped. I was beaten.” These are all stories around something that has happened to you. I can guarantee you that if you look at the behaviors and patterns in your life currently it will all come back to one of these stories you have created to be true. Furthermore, from these stories ignites the feelings of not worthy, you don’t deserve it and so on. What if you just accepted what has happened and choose to take responisbility for it….whether it was good or bad. I am not condoning the actual event that happened, especially if it was not right. But I am saying this is your truth. Be proud. There are no mistakes in life, nor are there failures. From all these experiences are great lessons. It will set you free. Accept what’s happened and move on from here. Your life is meant to be played full out, lived to the fullest potential it can be. We are put on this earth to create an impact and make a difference. We are not put on this earth to just live and scrape by and feel sorry for ourselves; playing the victim role. Most of us all have a story and in this story is where you will help set other people free. It is not about discounting yourself because you haven’t had bad things happen to you, like some people have. It is about that story you have created and lived for so many years. It is now time to release that story and start stepping into your brilliance & significant role you are meant to play in soceity. It is about accepting what has happened and moving on. When you are true to yourself and others around about your inauthenticities people will appreciate, respect and love you more for being this real, uncut, raw and authentic individual. Isn’t your life worth something to you? So consider what I have said and until next time “Live Life Light.”
How hard or how easy is it for you to disconnect from the world even for an evening? Well I was put to the test last night. My friend said let’s make a deal, leave the cell phones at home tonight. I said sure. Of course I said this with a slight hesitation. Me without my cell phone, OMG what am I going to do? We are glued to these dam things these days….so much so that we don’t even remember important people’s phone numbers anymore. We are so used to looking them up in the phone and calling, gone are the days where we remembered everyone’s numbers to a tee. What is going on with soceity these days hey!!! I’d like to comment on a few things here. When you are fully engaged with someone how does it make you feel? You are in a great conversation, fully aware, fully listening and fully paying attention. You hear them out and they hear you out. How does it make you feel when a “ding” comes in and 1 person sees they have a message, they then check their phone and put it down again. How does this make you feel? When two people are fully engaged, this can be your partner, colleague, boss, whomever it is, when they are fully present in that conversation there is energy being exchanged. Typically, it has a good ebb and flow to it. Soon as that cell phone is picked up, it disengages everything and throws the connection out the window. It creates a huge disconnect. It takes you out of that moment you are presently in. It breaks the ties. Far too many people live like this on a daily basis. Where has our true, authenticity gone? You see it everywhere. I remember at the Seattle airport one time I had a layover and ate lunch in the restaurant. At the table next to me there was a family (mom, dad and 3 kids). The man eas on his cell phone non stop, texting or checking emails and I witnessed his little girl trying to have a conversation with him and it appeared that he couldn’t be bothered. What is more important to you in life? Do you know how amazing it feels to leave a cell phone at home for an evening? Just to disconnect from the world. It’s crucial for your growth and for the people around you to do once in awhile. I can tell you from my experience last night, I couldn’t use my cell phone or an email as a crutch of any sort. All I had was that moment in time to connect, engage, play and have fun. It was a very interesting experience. I was fully engaged in my partner the entire night. I listened and stayed in the present the whole evening. It was like fireworks the entire night. SO if I can recommend anything, please disconnect from cell phone every now and then. It is good for the soul! Happy Halloween!
Have you ever wondered how or why some people are able to engage, connect & influence others moreso than others? I have often wondered this myself. I believe I am finally finding thr truths and answers to this. Everything is all starting to make sense. As we go through life, all we ever want is to feel accepted, loved, cared for and to be heard right? Wouldnt you agree with this? As we get older though our brains start processing things a lot differently, we have this misconception in our minds that we must be a certain way, act a certain way or behave a certain way. Think about it, when you were a child in school you had teachers that would grade you based on your marks, you wanted to be accepted so bad so you would seek acceptance from things outside of yourself. It didnt just stop at school either. YOu would go home, and possibly parents would be hounding you to be this or be that and if you dont do this, that is going to happen….and furthermore it continued on through work life also and your own social network. In todays soceity it is apparent everywhere, movies, tv shows, commercials, books and the list goes on and on. So guys & gals for years we have been searching for this connection and influence from sources outside of ourselves. This is the answers and the pieces of the puzzle that I am finally utting together. It all boils down to self love. A person that holds themselves on a high regard, cherises, respects, adores and loves themselves have a differnt aura and presence about them. They do not allow all these external sources shape, identify or dictate who they are, THEY themself simply love themselves. This is only a trickle effect, why do I say this? Well think about it when you love everything about you, you can truly be present in the moment because you are not stuck in your past or stuck in the future. All you have is right here, right now, fully present to be able to connect, engage & influence others. It is really neat when you operate with this sense of higher awareness and true love for yourself.
I was in the grocery store today waiting in the check out line and there was a small boy and his father waiting in front of me. Just watching how the two connected brought a smile to my face and I appreciated what I saw. At the scanning machine there was a daughter and her father. The daughter was probably about 8 years old, very pretty little girl. Dad was running the items thorugh the self checkout and the daughter at the end stuck the bank card in the debit machine, entered the pin number and took the receipt and left. In my mind I thought to myself that it was really beautiful to see. You can see the sense of accomplishment on that little girl’s eyes because she is learning about money AND she was able to do the transaction by herself. When you are able to start viewing things and life from a child like perspective, its free from judgement, free from fear, only filled with love. Naturally, the things you want and desire in life will only flow in abundance. It is so beautiful operating from this state of being and it does take work. Some things you may want to start doing to love yourself are:
-if there’s areas in you rbodies that you feel blockages or tension or tightness, close your eyes and picture a big ball of light, beautiful flowing energy and think of love filling this block all over and tell yourself that you love that part of you rbody
-start doing this until you feel no pain anymore
-after this is done start creating affirmations to say to yourself to start your day off right, start creating that story that you believe to be true about you
-have a focus around love….it will seriously start shifting your mind & perspective and start allowing you to naturally connect, engage & influence others
We must be the change we want to see in the world right! It all starts with you.
Wow today was a pretty rad day! I actually learnt a lot from my neighbors! Go figure! I had to share this because I think many men can relate and many women need to understand what the real story is. So as Im getting stuff ready to pack and get ready for the big move on Sunday my neighbors, whom are all boys/men are laughing and having fun and making a bit of noise. As I sat in my place, I do have to admit that I was slightly jealous, but I sat and listened and they were really just shootin the shit! So I went over and said hello and I actually ended up offering them some stuff that I wanted to just giveaway because I thought they could use it. SO we moved some things out of my place into theirs and then they went back to playing their games and having a good time. The reason Im making somewhat of a big deal of this is because I know in past relationships, a boyfriend may have told me that he was heading to a buddy’s for the night or out with friends. A regular girl would probably text him throughout the night, and chances are he may not respond. Then what does a girl typically do? Well she starts thinking the worse of worse things! No joke here. I AM not speaking for all females and ONLY relating my story from past relationships/ But I know I would think what the hell how come he cant text me back or call me back? What is he really doing? Is he with another chick? Yada yada yada! Does this sound familiar ladies? Men, how do you feel when you tell your woman your going out with the boys for anight whether it is headed out or stayin at someone’s house…how do you like your woman texting you and calling you and interrupting you many times thorughout a night? I am sure you dont envy this situation and find it annoying. YOu told your lady you were headed out with boys and thats that. Well I finally get it! Tonight was a prime example. GUys are so different than women. They really just shoot the shit, play video games, drinking games or go to bars and play poool, or dance with their buds or chill at a table, they just like chillin with their pals. Us women, tend to blow things so out of proportion its crazy! Soon as a guy cannot be left alone throughout the night, he tends to lose interest and gets agitated. Why? Well because he already told you what he was doing, leave him alone, let him enjoy th night with his friends! It is very similar to a prent-child relationship. A parent that tried to control their kid and set harsh and hard rules, the kid naturally wants to rebel and break the rules and not listen. The relationship is tarnished from an early stage! The parent is showing the child they have no trust in their kid and the kid shows the parent that they have no belief or trust in them. It then turns into a cyclical cycle! It is predictable what will happen next. Why not just trust your kid or trust your girlfriend or trust your boyfriend in what they say they are going to do. When that trust is broken this is a fabulous opportunity to look inside and see exactly what it is triggering. Is it control? Is it fear? What is it that makes you think the person is doing something other than what they told you they were doing?> Take it for what it is! I saw tonight that guys like to get drunk with thier buddies, have fun and just shoot the shit. Women on the other hand, they get together and it turns into a gossip factory or who knows what it turns into. But do you get my drift? My new motto now and forever is LIVE LIFE LIGHT. So take it easy, trust the other person in what they say they’re going to do and don’t interrupt them. It’s their night. We should all be allowed ‘OUR’ nights with pals, males or females. Got it? Good? LOL.
amp;Have you ever had trials & tribulations in life? Ever felt like giving up on life and nothing seems to be working? How about walking around aimlessly feeling you have no direction or purpose in life? It’s like you’re a robot; you get up, shower, have breakfast, scurry off to work for 8 hours, get in your car, drive home, have supper, watch tv and head to bed…just to wake up the next day and do it all over again! Sound familiar to anyone? My question to you is how are you dealing with this and the struggles you’re going through? Are you the person that reacts negatively and sit in your own victim pile? You complain about everything that is going on? You see the Universe or God gives us tests all the time, to really test our strength and tenacity and perseverance. These tests/struggles are necessary for our growth. We are never given something that we cannot handle. Do you know anybody in your life that claims the last word all the time, they always have to be right about everything? I know I used to be this person. These people are quite predictable, it is an indication that they are at the top of the pride cycle. When you are here, you are not trainable & coachable, you always need to be right and you are not a student at all. So when the people are going through struggles they only see things from a poor perspective and they’re not open. When you come along and try and offer suggestions to try and help the person, they will only hear the words they want to hear b/c they’re not coachable. It’s very easy for us to get defenisve immediately when people can’t see this but remember just take a deep breath and listen. That’s the best you can do, when the people are ready they will come back. This is ok. It’s tough to witness this but you got to let them learn for themselves. Every day I wake up now I am excited to face the day. I know I am making an impact on the people around me. I want to help people that want to make a change for themselves and take action. I am not interested in helping people that talk about change and how they want it but are not willing to commit themselves and take that next leap of faith. I am a great listener. I make a difference in other’s lives. I am a great friend. I want to motivate and inspire people into their greatness and live their true life potential. This is what our life is all about. We are meant to play BIG so when are you going to step it up! It’s your time to shine. Go get em tiger.